1. Beautiful Redemption - Ever Stays Red
2. Glorious - Ever Stays Red
3. Every New Day - Five Iron Frenzy
4. Dandelions - Five Iron Frenzy
5. ........
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
The Sixth Day
So reading in Genesis last night made me really think about what Adam's first day was like. To open his eyes and blink in the bright sunlight, to stretch his muscles, to stand and take the first human step on a brand new earth. To feel the dampness of cool grass beneath bare feet and a soft breeze through his hair. Breaking from a spinning, bounding run dotted with cartwheels and hillside rolls to stand with arms outstretched, breathing slightly heavy with face soaking in the warmth rays of a new day. Choosing the first tree to climb, racing to the top of the highest hill to take in a landscape never before seen by human eyes. Hearing the voice of the Creator as He walks close by, lovingly describing this good new world He has made. Deeply experiencing the intimacy of just being in the presence of such a loving, kind, personal being. Feeling the juice run down his chin as he bites into his first piece of fresh, ripe, delicious fruit. Wondering at the grinning four-legged creature furiously wagging its tail as it dances around his feet before deciding "This is a dog." Mind racing as more creatures approach, two by two, to greet and receive a name of their own. Arms tingling as a pair of eagles take flight from his shoulders, beating their magnificent wings as they soar higher and higher into the heavens. (and maybe, just maybe, soaring with them?) Diving into a clear river to tickle and swim with dozens of brightly colored fish. Bursting from the depths and tossing his head in a spray of glistening water droplets. Dropping to a warm beach of sand to dry as his thoughts are consumed with the awe and amazement of this day, watching the animal pairs walk and play together, and feeling the slightest twinge of wonder if maybe, somewhere, there is another....something like him. Senses overwhelmed, falling into a deep, peaceful sleep. Waking and blinking for the second time, a little startled and surprised to see - "what is sitting close watching me? Is that...someONE?" Enchanted and captivated by the beauty of a creature like him, and yet...different. Knowing, somehow, she...SHE! came from him. Had been carefully fashioned from him, and for him. Taking her hand in his, feeling the soft, smooth skin, brushing the long flowing hair, staring deeply into the soul behind the gentle, sparkling eyes, a new and warm tingly sensation growing in his chest. Confident that here was something more than all the other creatures met that day: a companion and helper. That here was someone that just...WOW!
Yeah, I think there are parts of that I'd like to experience.
Yeah, I think there are parts of that I'd like to experience.
Friday, July 2, 2010
Don't Waste yOur Life
Verse three to one of my favorite Lecrae beats includes the lines:
Stay focused if you ain't got no ride
Your life ain't wrapped up in what you drive,
The clothes you wear, the job you work
The color your skin, naw, you Christian first.
People get ta livin for a job, make a lil money start livin for a car
Get em a house, a wife, kids and a dog.
When they retire they livin high on the hog.
But guess what they didn't ever really live at all,
To live is Christ, and that's Paul I recall
To die is gain so for Christ we give it all,
He's the treasure you'll never find in a mall.
Your money, your singleness, marriage, talent your time
they were loaned to you to show the world that Christ is divine.
That's why it's Christ in my rhymes, that's why it's Christ all the time!
My whole world is built around him He's the life in my lines.
I refuse to waste my life he's too true ta chase that ice
Here's my gifts and time cause I'm constantly trying to be used to praise the Christ.
If he's truly raised to life then this news should change your life
and by His grace you can put your faith in a place that rules your days and nights.
So I'm kind of in that spot he speaks of: fresh out of college, got a solid job, feels like my life right now is all work. I really want a new car, for purely selfish reasons, and thoughts of a wife, house, and kids come to mind frequently. I've got the dog already.
When I graduated, I was ready to live a different kind of life where I didn't pursue the typical American dream lifestyle because I think that's bogus. Not that any of those things are bad in and of themselves, but I don't want my life to be that. I want it to be Christ first, and people and relationships next. But I already sense myself slipping into that trap and I want to get out before I get into too deep a hole. For most of my life, I've kind of had the impression that things like personal mission statements and vision didn't really mesh with Christianity. But a close friend helped me see them in a different light. So I thought out and wrote my own mission statement and am thinking about what to include in a vision for how I want my life to look like. Thing is, I'm not really holding tight to that and I need to. Guess it'll take a lot of intentionality, which is tough. But Christ promised that following Him would be tough. And for some reason I don't want believe that most of the time, but feel like being a Christian should be a cakewalk somehow. But I'll not go into all that now.
Anyway, I really didn't intend to write all that. What I meant to write was the lyrics and the very first little bit and say that even though I don't want my life to be that way, I'm having fun window shopping for cars. Like these:
As a young single guy, the Monte Carlo SS looks fun, but do I like blue or maybe orange with Lambo doors?
I feel like as a man I should have a Chevy Silverado. Or maybe a Dodge Ram.
I'd love to have another Z34
And not really a realistic option, but basically a 4-Door corvette might be sweet.
Stay focused if you ain't got no ride
Your life ain't wrapped up in what you drive,
The clothes you wear, the job you work
The color your skin, naw, you Christian first.
People get ta livin for a job, make a lil money start livin for a car
Get em a house, a wife, kids and a dog.
When they retire they livin high on the hog.
But guess what they didn't ever really live at all,
To live is Christ, and that's Paul I recall
To die is gain so for Christ we give it all,
He's the treasure you'll never find in a mall.
Your money, your singleness, marriage, talent your time
they were loaned to you to show the world that Christ is divine.
That's why it's Christ in my rhymes, that's why it's Christ all the time!
My whole world is built around him He's the life in my lines.
I refuse to waste my life he's too true ta chase that ice
Here's my gifts and time cause I'm constantly trying to be used to praise the Christ.
If he's truly raised to life then this news should change your life
and by His grace you can put your faith in a place that rules your days and nights.
So I'm kind of in that spot he speaks of: fresh out of college, got a solid job, feels like my life right now is all work. I really want a new car, for purely selfish reasons, and thoughts of a wife, house, and kids come to mind frequently. I've got the dog already.
When I graduated, I was ready to live a different kind of life where I didn't pursue the typical American dream lifestyle because I think that's bogus. Not that any of those things are bad in and of themselves, but I don't want my life to be that. I want it to be Christ first, and people and relationships next. But I already sense myself slipping into that trap and I want to get out before I get into too deep a hole. For most of my life, I've kind of had the impression that things like personal mission statements and vision didn't really mesh with Christianity. But a close friend helped me see them in a different light. So I thought out and wrote my own mission statement and am thinking about what to include in a vision for how I want my life to look like. Thing is, I'm not really holding tight to that and I need to. Guess it'll take a lot of intentionality, which is tough. But Christ promised that following Him would be tough. And for some reason I don't want believe that most of the time, but feel like being a Christian should be a cakewalk somehow. But I'll not go into all that now.
Anyway, I really didn't intend to write all that. What I meant to write was the lyrics and the very first little bit and say that even though I don't want my life to be that way, I'm having fun window shopping for cars. Like these:
As a young single guy, the Monte Carlo SS looks fun, but do I like blue or maybe orange with Lambo doors?
I feel like as a man I should have a Chevy Silverado. Or maybe a Dodge Ram.
I'd love to have another Z34
And not really a realistic option, but basically a 4-Door corvette might be sweet.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Summer Reading List
This is probably not a complete list yet. But it is alphabetical by author. Because I'm classy (or nerdy) enough to organize my books that way.
Bill Amend
-FoxTrot: Assembled with Care
-FoxTrot: Beyond a Doubt
-FoxTrot: Foxtrotius Maximum
-FoxTrot: The Works
Eoin Colfer
- Artemis Fowl: The Time Paradox
Gordon MacDonald
-Who Stole My Church?
Jean Marzollo
- I Spy Extreme Challenger
Donald Miller
- Through Painted Deserts
Henri Nouwen
-In the Name of Jesus
-The Return of the Prodigal
Jim Petersen
- The Insider
- Living Proof
Andy Stanley
- Visioneering
Robert Louis Stevenson
- The Black Arrow
Unknown
- Hebrews
12 seems a good start. That's a book a week for the summer.
Now the list is 15, because it's too easy for me to find something new and get interested in it. And I've read seven of them.
Bill Amend
-
-
-
-
Eoin Colfer
- Artemis Fowl: The Time Paradox
Gordon MacDonald
-
Jean Marzollo
- I Spy Extreme Challenger
Donald Miller
- Through Painted Deserts
Henri Nouwen
-
-
Jim Petersen
- The Insider
- Living Proof
Andy Stanley
- Visioneering
Robert Louis Stevenson
- The Black Arrow
Unknown
- Hebrews
12 seems a good start. That's a book a week for the summer.
Now the list is 15, because it's too easy for me to find something new and get interested in it. And I've read seven of them.
Monday, June 7, 2010
PostSecret
This could be short. Though I don't think short would do it justice, because it's not very completely thought out. Maybe someday I'll revisit.
I'll admit it though. I love PostSecret. It's like some dark guilty pleasure to browse through the colored 4x6 cards that some anonymous person has confided to the blogging world. Some make me laugh; others make me cringe in disgust; a few give me hope; but an overwhelming majority upset me. Not angry upset, but break-my-heart upset.
#1 - Honesty. Why why why can't people be honest with the friends/family/whoever closest to them? Sometimes I don't think it would be very hard. I've seen post cards revealing their writer is enormously grateful to someone for helping change their life and turn them in a new direction, but they won't admit it to that person. Other times, I realize how absolutely gut-wrenching it would be to admit whatever bit of truth to someone. And often, I have absolutely no idea what it would even start to feel like to carry some of the burdens people do.
(Very quickly, I think a major issue with this is fear of rejection for baring oneself opening for others to see hurt and pain and imperfection. At least, that's what keeps me from being honest a lot of the time)
#2 - Hope. For all the broken-hearted, scared, secretly or not secretly torn to shreds lives that people live, there is hope. It's easy to see sometimes, like when 11,000 people join a Facebook group to encourage one anonymous person not to jump off a bridge. But really, though it can be experienced through other people, hope for healing comes from one source, and that is Jesus Christ. That someone could look at every single shaming detail of my life and how disgusting it would be laid bare and open, and maybe poke and nudge some things with a finger, and then turn to me and exclaim with such a deep, honest gaze "I LOVE you!!" Kinda gives me chills that it's even possible.
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33
I'll admit it though. I love PostSecret. It's like some dark guilty pleasure to browse through the colored 4x6 cards that some anonymous person has confided to the blogging world. Some make me laugh; others make me cringe in disgust; a few give me hope; but an overwhelming majority upset me. Not angry upset, but break-my-heart upset.
#1 - Honesty. Why why why can't people be honest with the friends/family/whoever closest to them? Sometimes I don't think it would be very hard. I've seen post cards revealing their writer is enormously grateful to someone for helping change their life and turn them in a new direction, but they won't admit it to that person. Other times, I realize how absolutely gut-wrenching it would be to admit whatever bit of truth to someone. And often, I have absolutely no idea what it would even start to feel like to carry some of the burdens people do.
(Very quickly, I think a major issue with this is fear of rejection for baring oneself opening for others to see hurt and pain and imperfection. At least, that's what keeps me from being honest a lot of the time)
#2 - Hope. For all the broken-hearted, scared, secretly or not secretly torn to shreds lives that people live, there is hope. It's easy to see sometimes, like when 11,000 people join a Facebook group to encourage one anonymous person not to jump off a bridge. But really, though it can be experienced through other people, hope for healing comes from one source, and that is Jesus Christ. That someone could look at every single shaming detail of my life and how disgusting it would be laid bare and open, and maybe poke and nudge some things with a finger, and then turn to me and exclaim with such a deep, honest gaze "I LOVE you!!" Kinda gives me chills that it's even possible.
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33
Friday, April 30, 2010
Looking Back
On May 15th I will walk across the stage as a graduate of Kansas State University. Another phase of life starts soon after that. One without the college lifestyle. One with a lot more responsibility. Life's gonna be a lot different for sure. Looking back at the last couple years, I've been through a lot of experiences, which got me thinking about what life has been teaching me. So, here's a list of what I've learned from life on a couple different subjects. It's probably not complete, so I’ll add to it occasionally. And to be honest, some of these things I've learned, some... well, I'm still in the process. Maybe someday I'll really learn them.
Books
Calvin and Hobbes will never get old.
Books do nothing if left on the shelf unopened.
To really understand, you gotta do more than read the words on the page.
Entertainment
Don’t pretend movies and television are true to life.
Sometimes it seems so easy and safe to escape into a fake world when I don’t want to exist in the real one. This is not good. Middle Earth, Dillon TX, Scranton PA, McLaren’s pub, Green Gables, and Jane Austen’s England beckon all the time.
I think some shows are better just because I won’t admit watching them to some people who would tell me I know better.
There is nothing good or real about porn. I hate it.
When watching a DVD, it's best to check it for dust and fingerprints before starting to watch it. I think it's a rule that the best part of the show freezes or skips.
Politics
Republican does not mean Christian. And Democrat does not mean evil anti-Christian.
Sports/Activities
I’ll never be able to do all the fancy stuff on ESPN or Youtube. Outside of my own mind, at least.
Dancing takes some mix of confidence and not caring what people think.
People
They have hopes and dreams of what they want life to be like. I find this typically means they want to be loved; they want to feel cared about, to have their name and face remembered, and made to feel like they matter and have purpose and are important. And people will pursue things that they think fulfill those. Sometimes what they pursue is good. Sometimes not.
Sometimes I realize that I’ve only convinced myself I care about people, when I really just care about myself.
Friends are priceless, I’m sure.
A smile can really help.
Affirmation or lack of from people does not define my worth. So why do I get so tied up in it?
I never know their whole story. But I like learning.
Music
In my mind, it runs a close second to laughter as the best medicine.
Being able to play music brings a lot more satisfaction than just listening.
Sometime in my life, I’ll get better at the piano, actually learn guitar, and pick up the trumpet again. Starting….soon.
Electric pianos are not equal to a real piano. And I want a baby grand.
Girls
I like girls. They’re beautiful. And smell nice.
Every girl should be treated like a princess.
Beyond that....let's leave it at this: I don't understand them. The phrase "can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em" comes to mind, but I'm not really sure I like saying that.
Baking/Cooking
Baking for others makes it worthwhile. Baking for self, not so much.
Myself
I like beauty. And inspiring things. And cool socks. And communication.
I tend to be very sarcastic in much of what I say in everyday conversation. And I want to stop.
I need Africa more than Africa needs me.
The life I live is not my own.
My stupid heart can out-talk my brain any moment of the day.
I want to present hope to people.
God/Christianity/Religion
He does according to His will. Who can question Him?
Faith alone. By grace.
Years ago, I would never have admitted it, but I’m pretty sure I secretly thought I was better than people that didn’t love Jesus. But I’m not.
Knowing about God is a lot different than knowing God.
Stand fast therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free and do not be entangled again with a yoke of bondage.
In every aspect of life, the gospel is reality.
Christ is where hope is found.
Books
Calvin and Hobbes will never get old.
Books do nothing if left on the shelf unopened.
To really understand, you gotta do more than read the words on the page.
Entertainment
Don’t pretend movies and television are true to life.
Sometimes it seems so easy and safe to escape into a fake world when I don’t want to exist in the real one. This is not good. Middle Earth, Dillon TX, Scranton PA, McLaren’s pub, Green Gables, and Jane Austen’s England beckon all the time.
I think some shows are better just because I won’t admit watching them to some people who would tell me I know better.
There is nothing good or real about porn. I hate it.
When watching a DVD, it's best to check it for dust and fingerprints before starting to watch it. I think it's a rule that the best part of the show freezes or skips.
Politics
Republican does not mean Christian. And Democrat does not mean evil anti-Christian.
Sports/Activities
I’ll never be able to do all the fancy stuff on ESPN or Youtube. Outside of my own mind, at least.
Dancing takes some mix of confidence and not caring what people think.
People
They have hopes and dreams of what they want life to be like. I find this typically means they want to be loved; they want to feel cared about, to have their name and face remembered, and made to feel like they matter and have purpose and are important. And people will pursue things that they think fulfill those. Sometimes what they pursue is good. Sometimes not.
Sometimes I realize that I’ve only convinced myself I care about people, when I really just care about myself.
Friends are priceless, I’m sure.
A smile can really help.
Affirmation or lack of from people does not define my worth. So why do I get so tied up in it?
I never know their whole story. But I like learning.
Music
In my mind, it runs a close second to laughter as the best medicine.
Being able to play music brings a lot more satisfaction than just listening.
Sometime in my life, I’ll get better at the piano, actually learn guitar, and pick up the trumpet again. Starting….soon.
Electric pianos are not equal to a real piano. And I want a baby grand.
Girls
I like girls. They’re beautiful. And smell nice.
Every girl should be treated like a princess.
Beyond that....let's leave it at this: I don't understand them. The phrase "can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em" comes to mind, but I'm not really sure I like saying that.
Baking/Cooking
Baking for others makes it worthwhile. Baking for self, not so much.
Myself
I like beauty. And inspiring things. And cool socks. And communication.
I tend to be very sarcastic in much of what I say in everyday conversation. And I want to stop.
I need Africa more than Africa needs me.
The life I live is not my own.
My stupid heart can out-talk my brain any moment of the day.
I want to present hope to people.
God/Christianity/Religion
He does according to His will. Who can question Him?
Faith alone. By grace.
Years ago, I would never have admitted it, but I’m pretty sure I secretly thought I was better than people that didn’t love Jesus. But I’m not.
Knowing about God is a lot different than knowing God.
Stand fast therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free and do not be entangled again with a yoke of bondage.
In every aspect of life, the gospel is reality.
Christ is where hope is found.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Maybe this helps?
Mr. See owned a saw.
And Mr. Soar owned a seesaw.
Now See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw
before Soar saw See,
which made Soar sore.
Had Soar seen See's saw
before See sawed Soar's seesaw,
See's saw would not have sawed
Soar's seesaw.
So See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw.
But it was sad to see Soar so sore
just because See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw.
...nope.
And Mr. Soar owned a seesaw.
Now See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw
before Soar saw See,
which made Soar sore.
Had Soar seen See's saw
before See sawed Soar's seesaw,
See's saw would not have sawed
Soar's seesaw.
So See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw.
But it was sad to see Soar so sore
just because See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw.
...nope.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
For this post to really make any sense, I should have pictures. Maybe I should get a camera and take some lessons.
So...I love to bake. But it's a tough thing to love.
First of all, it takes time. Because I don't count breaking store bought refrigerated cookie dough into pieces and heating in the oven as baking. I love full-out, measuring and mixing and baking that leaves flour and a little bit of raw egg all over the kitchen and my clothes. It takes a lot of time to do. And to clean up, because I'm enough of a multi-tasker to clean as I'm going. And maybe it doesn't seem so practical to spend three baking something just to realize it takes four minutes to eat.
Second, it takes money. $3 for this spice and then I need light brown sugar and dark brown sugar and salted butter and unsalted butter (and I haven't figured out if a package that says sweet cream butter is salted or not yet and I'm not yet completely sure of what difference it makes anyway). Plus, I'm indecisive, and it's hard to pick out which of the 52 different kinds of marinade I want, but having three choices in the fridge on Saturday nights when I want to get chicken ready for Sunday is better than "ugh, pineapple mango chipotle buffalo sauce wasn't a good choice, but I don't wanna waste a whole bottle" BtheW, maybe baking chicken isn't really baking, but this is my blog, I do what I want. And $12 for rum just to put one tablespoon in a batter! Then I don't even know what to do with the rest because I don't need it to bake anything else anytime soon and I'm pretty sure I won't drink it any sooner than that and I don't even know how long it will last opened in the cabinet anyway and if I give it to my friends who would drink it $12 for a tablespoon makes for expensive apple bars. .......and part of me wonders how many church people I know might read this and wonder what in the world I'm buying hard liquor for anyway, "we don't touch alcohol, just leave it out".....
Nextly, I'm single. And I live by myself. Don't get me wrong, I love leftovers and having something to snack on when I get back from school is nice, but how many recipes make enough cookies or brownies for one person? Seriously, even if I make a small 8x8 pan of brownies, which honestly I sometimes finish off in less than 24 hours, woof....that's a lot of food that I really don't exercise enough to condone eating. Especially when I use baking as a comfort mechanism; there is absolutely no reason I should be scanning through dessert blogs. Hmmm...maybe one of those marriage proposals I've heard because of baking will work out. Not banking on that though. I've always kinda hoped I'd be the one asking in that situation. And I have asked, but whenever I actually could see myself meaning it....no chance. But honestly, if I ever marry a lady that can't cook.....well, I suppose I'd love her anyway.
D, I always bake too much. Maybe chalk that up to growing up in a huge family or just the fact that I'm a complete pig and can't control my eating when no one can see, but even if I bake for a group, I end up bringing the extra home and that's still more than any normal person has a right to eat.
BUT...........
to walk in a room with a plate of still warm, home-made baked goodies and see the look on someone's face when they try something (usually this response is good), especially when they claim to be counting calories but then have a second piece?
Worth it. Absolutely.
First of all, it takes time. Because I don't count breaking store bought refrigerated cookie dough into pieces and heating in the oven as baking. I love full-out, measuring and mixing and baking that leaves flour and a little bit of raw egg all over the kitchen and my clothes. It takes a lot of time to do. And to clean up, because I'm enough of a multi-tasker to clean as I'm going. And maybe it doesn't seem so practical to spend three baking something just to realize it takes four minutes to eat.
Second, it takes money. $3 for this spice and then I need light brown sugar and dark brown sugar and salted butter and unsalted butter (and I haven't figured out if a package that says sweet cream butter is salted or not yet and I'm not yet completely sure of what difference it makes anyway). Plus, I'm indecisive, and it's hard to pick out which of the 52 different kinds of marinade I want, but having three choices in the fridge on Saturday nights when I want to get chicken ready for Sunday is better than "ugh, pineapple mango chipotle buffalo sauce wasn't a good choice, but I don't wanna waste a whole bottle" BtheW, maybe baking chicken isn't really baking, but this is my blog, I do what I want. And $12 for rum just to put one tablespoon in a batter! Then I don't even know what to do with the rest because I don't need it to bake anything else anytime soon and I'm pretty sure I won't drink it any sooner than that and I don't even know how long it will last opened in the cabinet anyway and if I give it to my friends who would drink it $12 for a tablespoon makes for expensive apple bars. .......and part of me wonders how many church people I know might read this and wonder what in the world I'm buying hard liquor for anyway, "we don't touch alcohol, just leave it out".....
Nextly, I'm single. And I live by myself. Don't get me wrong, I love leftovers and having something to snack on when I get back from school is nice, but how many recipes make enough cookies or brownies for one person? Seriously, even if I make a small 8x8 pan of brownies, which honestly I sometimes finish off in less than 24 hours, woof....that's a lot of food that I really don't exercise enough to condone eating. Especially when I use baking as a comfort mechanism; there is absolutely no reason I should be scanning through dessert blogs. Hmmm...maybe one of those marriage proposals I've heard because of baking will work out. Not banking on that though. I've always kinda hoped I'd be the one asking in that situation. And I have asked, but whenever I actually could see myself meaning it....no chance. But honestly, if I ever marry a lady that can't cook.....well, I suppose I'd love her anyway.
D, I always bake too much. Maybe chalk that up to growing up in a huge family or just the fact that I'm a complete pig and can't control my eating when no one can see, but even if I bake for a group, I end up bringing the extra home and that's still more than any normal person has a right to eat.
BUT...........
to walk in a room with a plate of still warm, home-made baked goodies and see the look on someone's face when they try something (usually this response is good), especially when they claim to be counting calories but then have a second piece?
Worth it. Absolutely.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Worship
Yesterday, I was awake and out of the apartment before 6 a.m. and didn't return until 10 p.m. All for the sake of seeing K-State take down the #2 team in the country. Regrettably, that didn't happen. But between College GameDay and the game itself, I spent between five and six hours cheering at the top of my lungs, clapping, jumping up and down, and gyrating to the Wabash like nobody's business. There were moments where I alternately encouraged my team, high-fived my neighbors, wanted to hurl obscenities at the refs and other team, held my breath when a shot went up, had to stop screaming for several moments to find any bit of breath in my lungs, felt pride and disappointment, found hope, lost it, and found it again. In the game's final seconds, there were extreme highs and lows where fulfillment of emotion and purpose and hope felt tangible,right there in our grasp, and then was snatched away before I could blink.
This morning I woke up feeling exhausted, still disappointed, a little soul weary, and didn't want to move. I still had a little of my voice left, but in a very low, cracked, and creepy tone. Drove to church with some friends, and when music started playing, I was overwhelmed with a sense that even though my voice and body were weak, I couldn't put so much energy into celebrating athletic competition and then not be more intense in my pursuit and worship of my creator and Lord. Not in the sense that I guilt-tripped myself, but that it just wasn't possible. So I turned my focus to the Savior where my hope and purpose are met, never to be taken away, and really enjoyed a great moment of worship.
Now, I just wonder what happens to that sense and desire after I graduate. I want to be passionate toward Christ, and about Him, I just get a little discouraged thinking about where I might be.
Edit: The definition of passion I heard recently that I really liked was this: the degree of difficulty that one is willing to endure in order to accomplish the goal. Maybe that's my answer.
This morning I woke up feeling exhausted, still disappointed, a little soul weary, and didn't want to move. I still had a little of my voice left, but in a very low, cracked, and creepy tone. Drove to church with some friends, and when music started playing, I was overwhelmed with a sense that even though my voice and body were weak, I couldn't put so much energy into celebrating athletic competition and then not be more intense in my pursuit and worship of my creator and Lord. Not in the sense that I guilt-tripped myself, but that it just wasn't possible. So I turned my focus to the Savior where my hope and purpose are met, never to be taken away, and really enjoyed a great moment of worship.
Now, I just wonder what happens to that sense and desire after I graduate. I want to be passionate toward Christ, and about Him, I just get a little discouraged thinking about where I might be.
Edit: The definition of passion I heard recently that I really liked was this: the degree of difficulty that one is willing to endure in order to accomplish the goal. Maybe that's my answer.
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